Letter to my unicorn mom friend: Celebrating our time together

Dear Unicorn Mom Friend,

I learned about this phrase recently. Have you heard of it? I saw it once on a short Instagram reel about a “unicorn mom friend”. The lady talks about how it’s hard to make friends with people who have kids because the whole premise of the relationship is around the children and not the people. You go to the park or school function then you let your kids loose and when they’ve settled on who they will play with, you make eye contact with the mom or dad and cross your fingers that that person is not a maniac.

The Unicorn Mom Friend is a mom friend that is actually your friend. Your kids play together for sure, maybe even go to the same school or may be in the same class but that’s not why you are friends. You don’t know her from childhood. It’s a friendship you formed as an adult. It’s one of those friendships that you can be all aspects of yourself in. She takes you with all the versions you have going on. You mom together. You single ladies night together. You husband-complain together. You hustle together. You ‘advice’ together. You scheme together. You like them and there is nothing forced about the relationship you have with them. Well you are this person for me.

I remember when we first met and I thought that pregnant lady should be my friend. At that time, my kid was five months old. You know when you meet someone and at the same time, you sort of mourn not knowing them sooner? That was how I felt. Sometime that night, I got your number. Then just like magic, we had a super cool friendship which even survived my child’s random acts of violence towards your sweet little girl – who just never gave up loving him.

I miss our hang outs. Our long hangouts where we would reschedule life around just talking and spending time together. We laughed too loudly and too hard. Our breakfasts because we had to feed the soul. We cried awkwardly sometimes. We were above all the drama unfolding around us. All of it. Our outings at La Cantina…because who doesn’t appreciate a BOGO half.

I liked our different personalities, I was the calm one, you were the fierce one. We listened to the woes, celebrated the triumphs and welcomed the mundane.

I miss playdates with you that are really for me and you. You were the perfect partner in crime. Want to go to a book launch? Sure. How about a happy hour? Let’s make it a thing. Remember when I convinced you to grill my colleague (who then indulged us all with his life story)?

I miss going through your clothes and picking out an outfit or deciding which clothes to give away or sell (then not doing either). I still get comments on the white dress you gave up for me. I miss planning our next steps with you. When you so boldly became a guava jam seller then almost sold out your stock! I miss all our planning. I want to plan again but this time see them all through. Our thwarted travel in Europe, then in Mozambique and now you’ll be off to Japan in a year. But mostly, I miss you and I wish we were in the same place again. Here’s to hoping we will be.